When you love and parent a child with special educational needs or disabilities (SEND), you become an expert in so many things – their fears and needs, education systems, how you and others respond to them, support plans – but when emotional or behavioural challenges arise, even the most dedicated and informed parents can feel unsure about where to turn for help.
If your child is anxious, angry, socially withdrawn, or struggling in ways that leave them feeling complicated or misunderstood, a clinical psychologist might be able to help. But what do clinical psychologists actually do? How are they different from other professionals? And how do you find the right one for your child and family? This guide will walk you through it all – what clinical psychology is and is not, how it can help, what to look for, and the alternative options available.
Why Clinical Psychology?
Clinical psychologists are highly trained health professionals – usually with doctoral-level qualifications – who specialise in understanding emotional wellbeing, behaviour, and development across the lifespan. What makes them especially valuable for families of SEND children is their ability to step back and ask:
“What is really going on here?”
They can bring together psychological theory, clinical experience, and a deep understanding of neurodiversity to create a personalised ‘formulation’ or understanding of your child – not just what they do, but why – and this guides what might help them. Their focus is not on “fixing” your child, but on helping them to develop their potential and thrive in a world that can sometimes misunderstand them.
- Clinical psychologists can help when your child is:
- Showing signs of anxiety, low mood, or emotional overwhelm
- Struggling with behaviour or emotional regulation
- ‘Masking’ or melting down at school or home
- Dealing with trauma, grief, or big life changes
- Needing more assessment, of their well-being or abilities
- Falling between the cracks of services
- At risk of being pathologised for traits linked to neurodiversity
What Therapeutic Models might they use?
Clinical psychologists don’t offer a one-size-fits-all treatment. Instead, they draw from a range of therapeutic models, depending on your child and family’s needs, developmental stage, and communication style. Some of the most common include:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):
A structured, evidence-based approach that helps children and parents understand how thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are linked. Often used for anxiety and low mood, it can be adapted for all children with the right support.
Narrative Therapy:
Helps children (and families) tell or rewrite their own stories in empowering and helpful ways. Useful when your child has internalised shame or blame, often powerful in SEND contexts.
Systemic or Family Therapy:
Focuses on patterns within family relationships and how change happens within the whole system. This approach can support parents and siblings as well as the child with SEND.
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT):
Especially helpful when dealing with stigma or self-criticism. This model promotes emotional safety and self-kindness, particularly for children and parents who’ve been misunderstood or excluded.
Attachment-Based Approaches:
These look at early and existing relational experiences and how they influence emotions and behaviour. It is especially helpful for children who have experienced trauma, rejection, or disrupted attachments.
Trauma-Informed or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing):
For children who have experienced acute, painful or complex trauma. EMDR is one of the few therapies recommended for post-traumatic stress in children. A good clinical psychologist will adapt their approach to fit your child – not the other way around. They may use play, drawing, movement, stories, or metaphor to help your child feel safe and engage.
Cognitive and Diagnostic Assessments
As well as therapy, many clinical psychologists also offer formal assessments. These can be helpful for understanding your child’s unique profile and securing the right support in education or healthcare settings. Assessments may include:
Cognitive Assessments:
These explore abilities like memory, attention, processing speed, executive functioning, and identify your child’s individual cognitive and learning profile. These assessments can help identify strengths and needs, and are sometimes used in EHCP or tribunal processes.
Neurodevelopmental Assessments:
Including assessments for autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergent presentations. These are best done with clinicians experienced in neurodiversity who understand how presentations differ by individual circumstance, sex, age, and cultural background.
Emotional or Behavioural Assessments:
These look at patterns of emotional regulation, anxiety, attachment style, or trauma responses. They might lead to a diagnosis, if desired and needed, which can itself help inform the best therapeutic support or approach from services.
A Comprehensive Formulation:
Unlike a diagnosis, a formulation is a shared story about how your child’s difficulties developed, what maintains them, and how they can be addressed. It integrates information from multiple sources and is often more helpful for complex presentations. This is a main way that Clinical Psychologists work can differ from other professionals.
Clinical psychologists will often use standardised tools and parent/teacher questionnaires alongside interviews and observation. A good assessment should leave you with more clarity and a way forwards, helping everyone to feel more empowered and less confused.
Alternatives to Clinical Psychology
While clinical psychologists offer a broad and integrative perspective, other professionals can be equally or more appropriate depending on your child’s specific needs. These include:
Educational Psychologists (EPs):
Focused on learning and behaviour in school contexts. Vital for EHCPs and can offer classroom strategies, some also offer therapeutic work.
Psychiatrists:
Medical doctors who can diagnose and prescribe. Especially relevant when medication for ADHD, OCD, depression, etc., is being considered.
Speech and Language Therapists (SALTs):
Essential for children with communication differences, including understanding emotions and social interaction.
Occupational Therapists (OTs):
Help with sensory processing, motor skills, and daily functioning. Invaluable for children who struggle with sensory overload, routines, or transitions.
Counsellors or Child Psychotherapists:
Can provide excellent emotional support and therapy there are wide variations in training and approach. Always check their experience with SEND.
Often, the most effective support comes from a multi-disciplinary approach, where professionals work together around your child’s unique situation.
How to Choose the Right Clinical Psychologist
When looking for a clinical psychologist, keep these points in mind:
SEND-Specific Experience:
Do they work with children like yours? Are they familiar with autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, trauma, or sensory processing?
Values and Language:
Are they affirming of your child and family? Do they see behaviour as communication? Are they respectful of difference rather than pathologising it?
Scope of Work:
Do they offer assessment, therapy, parent consultation – or all three? Some psychologists specialise in certain areas (e.g., trauma, autism assessments only).
Location and Format:
Do they work face-to-face, online, in clinics, or in schools? Are they accessible to your family’s routines and needs?
Costs and Waitlists:
NHS provision is often excellent but is sometimes slow or hard to access. Independent psychologists vary in price, so ask for clarity about fees, timelines, and report use (e.g., for EHCPs or tribunals).
‘Fit’:
This is often the most important factor. A good psychologist will not just “treat” your child but build a trusting, respectful relationship with them – and with you. This is something you will likely feel in your ‘gut.’ They should leave you feeling reassured both that they know what they are doing and have your child and family’s best interests at heart.
If this initial contact doesn’t feel right, don’t feel embarrassed about shopping around. One of the biggest indicators of therapeutic success is the relationship quality between a psychologist and their client.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a clinical psychologist can feel daunting, especially when you’re already juggling so much. But with the right person, clinical psychology can offer your child not just help – but support and understanding for the whole family. A good psychologist will see your unique child through the noise and labels, help others see your child more clearly, and give you space for your feelings too.
Whatever path you take, remember this: you know your child best. The right professional will listen to you, learn from you, and walk alongside your family, sharing their expertise and trying to help with both respect and care.
For more information about Clinical Psychology see:
‘What is a clinical psychologist?’ The British Psychological Society
‘Clinical Psychologists: Who are we and what do we do?’ The Association of
Clinical Psychologists UK
About the author:
Dr Anna Hutchinson is a clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience. She serves as the Clinical Director at The Integrated Psychology Clinic and specialises in adolescent mental health and physical health.